My son was born Auguest 29th 1979 at 2:21 p.m. in a hospital in Tustin California. The son of Arthur Kirker and Paula Bush. Islean Calder Bush/Kirker is our sons name. For some reason we thought for sure our baby would be a girl. So for three months we worked very hard on choseing the right name for her but we had not worked on any names for a baby boy. So to our supprise we found ourselfs serching to find the right name for our son. It took us three days but we finnally knew we chose the right one. Islean (pronounced "Illy-an" because the s is silent like in the word Island). Islean means "Sweet voice". Calder means "from the river of stones".
We chose this name because we both had Welsh ancestry in our family's background. The Kirker name means "Church Man". or Man of the church. Kirk is the swedish name for Church. And so after Paula had to indure a long trying labor she gave birth to a son of God. At least that is how I have always seen him and raised him to know this truth. I had the previledge of rasing a child of God and by alowing myself to reflect and act as I wish my father would have with me had he lived I was able to create myself into that ideal. Sence I never had a father figure in my life the slate was clean and I had only my heart to guide me and often the wisdom and insight of my beautiful mate and friend Paula.

So here was our Son, and Paula and I were living together and finally set a date to marrie. Islean was the special guest at our wedding. I found a beautiful young woman who I knew I would could love all my life, but it was not so easy for Paula because she was not sure that I was exactly what she wanted. I knew it and believed over time I could make her feel that she had made the right choice. It was really hard to admit to myself I was wrong.

Throuout our marrage Paula was never sure that I was the right choice and after a year or so she began to feel more uneasy so we began to try and work with diffrent marriage counslers whom usally got frustraited with not being able to help us. After about 20 years of marrage and 19 years of thearapy. I had to let go and it broke my heart but I could see that I was not wanted and she needed to be free of our marrage. So it ended and then I could only love her from a distance. Now after 10 years I love her as a careing friend. There are still so many good reasons to love her. But mostly I love her for the mother she was to Islean and she loves me for the father I was for him. We know we were really good parents and have to respect that above all in our relationship. She is still working on her issues, and I have found myself again. I am an artist that allows the creative forces of our Creator to work through me in all that I do. I feel really free to be me once again and I feel blessed. The rest will become part of history.

I have learned from my life that I find what seems like tragety is really a opportunity to open new doors and find new adventures. It may involve some time to heal but it is really a blessing in dissgise. Just keep stepping forward and new doors will open with greater potentual to f ill your life with wonderous lessons and wisdom. Just be open to the new paths set before you. Take your time and know you will be fine what you are looking for. I guess I am saying have faith and a open heart and remember this above all! "THE JOURNY IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT!" Your thoughts create your life so think good thoughts and create a good life...

Anyway the things I really enjoyed most were spending time with Paula and Islean and our families. They were really quite diffrent. Her Family was quite structured and more formal and mine was much less structured and informal. But behind it all I believe there lies the same basic truths that we all are looking for love and want to fit in.

I've been with the Hippise, Bikers, Christian, Educational groups. Army and Artist groups. With other people from diffrent countries and difrent nationalities. Protacals are a little diffrent but the desire to fit within the social core of the group are usally played the same way. Respect and corgeality are most likely to make you likible. Love comes with trust, resect, and expeirences built over time. Human beings are all pretty much the same and so are the games we play. We are all capible of the same darkness and light given the cercumstance of the invironment, situation and social protocal of what ever group we find ourself with. The most important thing to remember is that we create our own destony and our actions will help define the life of the group. So be true unto yourself and create yourself into what you want to be. Then share your truth.

I saw my roll as a husban, father and co provider to two beautiful and wonderful creations of Life/ Paula and Islean. Then our core family was a part of a much bigger family. That being Paula's and mine. Paula was easily exceped by my family because of her beauty and kind social nature. On the oher hand I was seen with suspicion and apprehention, and rightly so I must confess. I was an artist after all living an unstructure lifestyle more bohimian and with out much direction. I had already spent eight years in college and change my advocation at least four times, with no real thought to graduate. Learning was fun annd so was finding new creative friends.